How to tell if you’re a Gothic or Gothic Romantic Hero

Regency History: A Regency History guide to The Mysteries of ...

Do you have a spare wife lying around? Perhaps in your attic?

Have you recently wrestled a bear (to save a pig thief), engaged in a naked pirate fight and escaped the clutches of a murderous prostitute and her gang?

Have you gambled away your fortune and given all your money to a fellow debtor?

Did you lose your girlfriend about a book ago and aren’t entirely sure where she’s gone?

Have you ever mysteriously disappeared for years only to come back rich and find that made absolutely no difference?

Have you ever rescued your lady love  only to lose her a day later after losing a duel with her dastardly uncle?

Did a servant actually rescue your love interest?

Have you murdered several of your previous wives?

Has your lady love been held prisoner in a half-ruined castle in the Apennines?

Did a mysterious old dude longing for death offer you the secret of eternal life? Was it a terrible mistake?

Have you ever accidentally run away with a ghostly nun rather than your affianced bride?

Have you made a promise to someone who is obviously a vampire that you won’t tell everyone he is a vampire?

Have you ever had to go find your beloved in some catacombs?

Have you ever been imprisoned in the Inquisition?

Have you ever been to Paris and ended up in a den of iniquity?

Have you ever acted as an instrument of God’s vengeance against the usurper?

Have you dealt with demons? Bonus points if you, yourself, are a literal demon.

Did you fail so hard to avenge your father that you ended up imprisoned while your sister is kidnapped?

Do you think you’re a medieval peasant but weirdly well-educated and adept at swordsmanship for no discernible reason?

Do you think you’re a medieval peasant but some rich bloke inexplicably adopted you for *reasons*?

Have you ever accused the light of your life of being in love with the man who has literally hunted her through the years?

Have you ever been sent conveniently away to war by your guardian? When you returned had your girlfriend vanished? (I’m sure he had nothing to do with it)

Have you ever fantasised about a bird nibbling a lady’s bosoms?

Did your mother die from falling off a chair?

Have you ever carved an entire page long poem into a stone tower without anyone noticing?

Is your girlfriend forever getting locked in teetering towers, mouldering vaults and abandoned mansions in the forest?

Have you ever met a druid who helped you avenge your father’s death?

Have you ever had your birthright usurped?

Does your brother’s wife keep making googly eyes at you while people keep mysteriously dying around you?

Have you killed your best friend in a duel?

Do you keep finding clues to your heritage all over the shop?

Do you have a dark secret which necessitates glaring off into the distance for hours on end?

Have you ever punched your way through a window to get to your partner because they’re hurt?

Have you ever reacted to the certainty of impending death at the hands of murderous bandits by reading terrible poetry?

 

If so, you may just be a Gothic or Gothic Romantic hero!

7 thoughts on “How to tell if you’re a Gothic or Gothic Romantic Hero

  1. I don’t know if Heathclif would have been a hero… tbh if you had a wife in the attic, it was because you took all of her inheritance. Wuthering Heights was more of a commentary on Coventry and a really obvious one too….

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      1. Sorry it occurs that your were leaning into irony there, but Heathcliff just-Uhg. Gothic is my jam. Heathcliff, not so much.

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